Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Your Exam will begin in 5 minutes...

Oh I know, people think I'm mad..
I enjoy exams. The build up is dull: nobody goes out, everyone's in that snappy mood...the kill-joy mood. But the actual exam is a different story...

It is a test.

Essentially, on an English Exam paper there is one question that every first, second and third year student is being asked:

Have you seen something that nobody else has seen?

An examiner is probably a middle-aged, heterosexual, white, British male. He doesn't give a fuck about my post-feminist agenda, my gender politics... he doesn't give a fuck that I am having a bad day, or that I found the material boring or repetitive. He wants to read a sentence and see something he hasn't seen. And that's why an Exam is fun (correct:fun).

An Exam is your chance to give a massive 'fuck you' or a huge french kiss to that bastard who's already bored when he's reading your name (and don't believe they don't uncurl those little dog-eared privacy folds at the corners, because he does. I would and you would).

So mess with him. Have fun. And if you fail, fuck it.

(edit)- (ps)- If you didn't read the fucking book, you really are the idiot he's expecting you to be.

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